“WHO WOULD EVER LOVE ME?”

Who would ever love me?
I think as I look at the door
Waiting for the post to drop
Wondering what wings its way towards my letter box
On this fourteenth day of the second month.
Apprehension fills me with dread
Of all the past encounters I’ve had
Spinning my heart in circles and rocking my head
The emotions over-run and under-turn me
Forging my memories into anti-memories
So I no longer know truth from reality.
I think back to the handsome man on the bus
Knowing he walks behind me at the end of the day
Passing me by as I entered my flat alone
So he knew where I lived
He smiled at me each morning everyday
As he sat in the seat opposite me
Then I think oh it was just courtesy,
That he didn’t really mean it
That he was just trying to be polite
But oh how his sparkly twinkle always caught my eye
Unaware he made my day start off that much better.


I imagine the joy I’d feel seeing a strange envelope
In amongst my usual mail
Apprehensively opening it up
My heart would soar with joy
Knowing someone had taken the time to think of me
The effort to choose the right sentiment
The lick or stick of stamp to card
The walk to the post office or post box
To send it lovingly my way…

Who would ever love my smile?
My sparkle?
My twinkle?
My curvy hips?
My saggy rump?
My not so pert chest as age and gravity catches up?
Who would want to listen to my laugh?
My sense of humour?
My wisdom?
My words of comfort and advice?
My moany, croaky voice when I first wake up?
Who would ever hunger for my companionship?
Crave my touch?
My smell?
My warmth?
My intimacy?
Who would ever love me now you’re gone?


© 12th April 2009 – 23:56pm Written by Angela Edgar

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